


A Bird, came down the Walk

by ahsokatanos



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, My First Work in This Fandom, OC deals with T R A U M A, attack on titan - Freeform, before the walls fell, haven't posted on here in 3 years, i am relying on VIBES, i don't know what I am doing, i just wanted to write levi and now i have this, i looked at canon and chuckled, i think everyone is slightly younger than canon, i'll die before i write y/n, idfk guys, if there's one thing this has got its levi, im obsessed with writing levi, in fact don't expect anything from me im broken, is erwin a sociopath? maybe., possible future relationships but, read it as y/n if you want idfc, seriously again don't expect much romance or anything for a while bitch, seriously don't think too hard about the timeline because you will be confused, shingeki no kyojin - Freeform, slowburn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-14 07:26:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29292081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ahsokatanos/pseuds/ahsokatanos
Summary: Iris Lennan owes Erwin Smith a few favors. When Levi's squad has a particularly hard time outside the walls, Erwin decides to cash in.
Relationships: Erwin Smith & Original Female Character(s), Erwin Smith & Reader, Hange Zoë & Original Female Character(s), Hange Zoë & Reader, Levi Ackerman & Erwin Smith, Levi Ackerman & Original Female Character(s), Levi Ackerman & Reader
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> read as y/n if you'd like :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you think this will have a coherent or plausible timeline, you are mistaken. i don't know how old anyone is or what the fuck is going on, but i will do my best to break you anyway

_A Bird, came down the Walk -_

_He did not know I saw -_

_He bit an Angle Worm in halves_

_And ate the fellow, raw,_

_And then, he drank a Dew_

_From a convenient Grass -_

_And then hopped sidewise to the Wall_

_To let a Beetle pass -_

_He glanced with rapid eyes,_

_That hurried all abroad -_

_They looked like frightened Beads, I thought,_

_He stirred his Velvet Head. -_

_Like one in danger, Cautious,_

_I offered him a Crumb,_

_And he unrolled his feathers,_

_And rowed him softer Home -_

_Than Oars divide the Ocean,_

_Too silver for a seam,_

_Or Butterflies, off Banks of Noon,_

_Leap, plashless as they swim._

* * *

  
  


It was late, and his patience was wearing thin. 

That was not to say that forbearance was a great virtue of his, but that day things were grating him worse than usual. It was only the fact that he didn't want to snap at Erwin that kept him from acting outwardly incensed. 

By all rights, the day had been a general success. You couldn’t call what they’d done an expedition — they hadn’t gone but 150 meters outside the wall, and it was only to double-check a landmark no one could pinpoint the exact position of. Rudimentary stuff. Perhaps even boring. But accidents happen, and Levi had wanted to be careful. He had enlisted one more soldier, not Special Ops quality but certainly competent, to be one more pair of eyes. For the sake of being prepared. They'd found the goddamned landmark, but the additional scout hadn't been used to their riding style and fell behind. A Titan had swiped their horse from beneath them, broken the lower half of his body. The mission's overall result did not mean he and Petra hadn't talked the extra scout through their own death. He thought it a shame that he'd been the last voice the soldier ever heard. 

And now Erwin was trying to use it all as a way to say I-told-you-so. 

“Levi,” he said quietly. "I think it would have proven at least somewhat useful today.” 

From behind his desk, Erwin peered at him, calm but determined as ever. Levi couldn't help but think with a certain level of ire just how fixated Erwin could get on things — it was almost to his detriment. So much passion whirling around driving them forward that "passion" became too weak a word. "Obsession," maybe, was a better fit. 

"You think I disagree," Levi replied evenly. He kept his eyes ahead, face impassive in a way that no longer required any effort. It didn't matter, though, because Erwin was nauseatingly adept at analyzing people and at this point could read him like an unlocked, soul-bearing diary. "You always assume I'll argue." 

"I always assume you'll have reservations," Erwin corrected. "Ones I happily consider. Your judgment is crucial to most of what we do."

Levi scoffed quietly at the front of his mouth. "I'm not a crowd or a regiment on the verge of pissing itself. Quit with the flattery. You don't have to talk me into doing things your way." 

"You don't have to take my suggestions just because they're mine, Levi." 

Another scoff. "Yeah, I do." He leaned back in his chair, slung his arm across its back, and stretched a leg out in front of him. "You're usually right, even with all the stupid chances you take. It's not even like this idea is at your normal caliber, I'm just set in my ways." 

Erwin folded his hands. "It was a fight to get Ral on the squad if I remember right. She's turned out well, I'd say." 

Levi felt himself bristle. He trained his stare on an old water stain on the floor that bothered him every time he came in there. "She was too young. I don't like making the same mistake twice." Look at him, explaining himself. He still thought she ought to have put a few more years on her before Erwin offered her the promotion. 

The commander dipped his head. Levi wondered if he had sense enough to feel at least a shade guilty. 

"A medic," Erwin said. "One more addition and I swear I'll leave your squad to you. Just think through the benefits." 

"Commander, the benefits of a trained medic on the team aren't lost on me." Levi's tone became, for the first time, clipped. "It would take a load off Petra, for one, and if Oruo manages his fourth concussion I won't have to worry about him going comatose. At least not straight away.” He paused and straightened the cuff of his sleeve. “But we’re hard to keep up with. You’re more optimistic than I thought if you believe we’ll find a doctor who’s also trained to use ODM gear, and well at that.” 

Erwin let a small smile tilt his mouth, and Levi inwardly kicked himself for not making the assumption before; of course, he already had someone in mind.

Levi sighed, too tired to even remark upon it. He murmured: “Shit or get off the pot, then, Erwin.” 

“She joined the Survey Corps the same time as I. She served under Hange’s command, mostly trained as a doctor. She’s been on sick leave for the past two years.” 

Levi couldn’t stop his brow from lifting. Even he had to admit it was a rare thing to see a member of the scouts as seasoned as Erwin. But two years on leave? 

“Why?” 

“She broke her back on an expedition.” 

Levi blinked. “She broke her back,” he repeated flatly, “outside the walls. And lived.” He waited for Erwin to amend the story, to admit to exaggerating — it seemed like a big deal, something he would have heard about before now. 

But the commander just nodded, pensive and unhumorous. “She’s an agreeable person.” He shrugged. “Her comrades couldn’t stand to leave her.” 

“‘Agreeable’ doesn’t kill Titans. You’re offering me someone who hasn’t seen combat in two years.”

“Hange can vouch for her.” 

Levi gave him a look. _That is some dumb shit._ “If she’s so good, why is Hange letting her go in the first place? No section leader wants to give up valuable scouts. Damn poacher.” 

“She’s not Hange’s scout to lose, not anymore. She’s been out too long. And I won’t mislead you, it isn’t like she’s otherworldly.” Erwin would not let his stare stray from him. “She’s a fair fighter, but what you _need_ is her medic’s training. In fact, this is me insisting that you do.” 

Levi _hmphed_ and said nothing else. He mulled over Erwin’s words, tapped a boot against the floor, gray eyes cast down. He needed more time to consider everything, but it was clear he wouldn’t be getting it. He didn’t think a scout going on three years in the Corps could merely be described as a “fair fighter,” nevermind the fact that Erwin was relying on a technicality to get her out from under Hange’s command. Levi sneered, imagining what kind of weirdo she might be. Hange’s soldiers were always fucking weird. 

He could be cordial no more. “What have you got against this woman?”

Erwin’s face did not change. “What do you mean?”

“Does she even want to join the Special Ops?” Levi’s tone was unwavering as stagnant water. Unreadable like it, too. You couldn’t discern what was beneath its steel surface. “Does she know you’re considering her?” 

Erwin blinked. Watched Levi over his folded hands. “Of course she does.” 

“It’s as good as a death sentence,” Levi said. He let that hang there for a beat, and then: “If you don’t know what you’re doing. If what you’re saying is true, and you’re not trying to pull one fucking over me, this medic has not been over the walls in two years. But you want her on my squad. So, what did she do to you? You haven’t even said her name.” 

“Iris Lennan.” 

Levi had never heard of her. “What did she do to you?” 

Levi understood he was being shitty. Purposefully difficult. Honestly, he knew Erwin’s proposal was fairly reasonable. A medic for the Special Ops to act as an additional safety measure, a better chance at survival for the soldiers he directly commanded. Not exactly an offensive suggestion. Still, though . . . Levi resisted. The Special Ops squad had been Erwin’s idea, too, a way to better utilize Levi’s strength — or, whatever. Levi didn’t see it that way. A few months ago, when he realized the Corps and most of the general public had begun to call the Special Ops forces "Squad Levi," he could have been sick. He was a good fighter, so what? It might matter if the Corps had 500 of him, but they didn't. He was fast, so what? Strong. So what? One day he wouldn't be quick enough, all his nights without sleep would finally catch up, and some dumb fucking Titan would get him. End of story. Humanity's Strongest, down in one gulp. 

Despite common assumptions, he was nothing but a person. Just like everyone else. He didn't want an elite squad, and he didn't want to recruit people to die. 

So, yeah. Erwin had got him feeling pretty pissy. 

The commander looked almost like he might smile. When Levi was at his most irritated, Erwin always seemed to be at his most amused. "Nothing. Iris and I were cadets together. She's a devoted soldier. She's put in the work, and she deserves recognition." He paused. "Your squad needs as many second chances as we can put into reserves." 

Levi watched him silently. A dull throbbing had started behind his eyes and despite the office's expanse, Levi felt closed in. He sighed, scoffed at the front of his mouth, and straightened in his chair. "You're right. Do you have her file?" 

Erwin's pale eyes flashed with triumph. Unmistakable. "I can have it on your desk tomorrow morning. At dawn, if you'd like."

"My idea of dawn? Or yours?" 

"No later than five o'clock." 

"Ugh." Levi rolled his eyes. "That's practically midday." 

He got to his feet and saluted Erwin. The commander dipped his head and Levi relaxed, turned on his heel, and stalked out of the office. He closed the door quietly behind him. 

Headquarters was still as a tomb. Lanterns set the corridor in warm orange light and the teal woven rug beneath Levi's boots muffled the sound of his footsteps. He thought absently of the stack of untouched paperwork he knew was waiting for him back in his own office. It was a bit past midnight, but that meant almost nothing. Levi didn't exactly operate on the basic time structure. 

"He's still conversational?" 

Levi's stare snapped up. A woman sat on the bench outside Erwin's door. She saluted him, straightening slightly in her seat, but kept up an easy smile. She held an unpeeled orange in her hand.There was a pleasant symmetry to her face, Levi wasn't above admitting that, and her wide eyes held a playful glint like she knew something he didn't. She was dressed in military garb and Levi noticed the Wings of Freedom ensigna on her jacket's shoulder. 

"You're here for Erwin?" he asked sharply, annoyed he hadn't noticed the woman before. 

"Yes, Captain." That knowing smile wouldn't fade. 

Levi jerked his head. "Go." 

The woman stood slowly, glancing between him and the door. Levi turned and resumed his trek down the corridor. He heard the hinges creak. Then he stopped. 

"Lennan?" 

"Yes, sir?" 

_Fucking hell_. He wondered if Erwin had planned it. No, of course he had. Levi glowered over his shoulder at the woman, found her facing him with arms folded stiffly behind her back. Erwin's door was open a sliver; Levi could see the edge of the commander's desk through the crack. He narrowed his eyes. 

"You'll be evaluated the day after tomorrow in a personal interview, then on the ODM course. Don't think for a moment that Erwin's recommendation guarantees you the job." 

He waited for the fear to cross over her face, the tremble of her lip, the widening of her pupils . . . but she just stood there, grounded as a tree, feet set apart in a perfect stance. Stauesque. "Yes, Captain." 

Levi blinked. "Hm." He eyed her for a moment more, then went on his way again, gliding on cat's feet. The hinges on Erwin's door creaked once more, and he heard it click shut again. Iris Lennan slipped inside the office, and Levi was left alone in the cold, silent hallway. 


	2. Chapter 2

Iris dug her thumb under her orange's rind and pried it open.

A sweet, summery scent drifted up from the wound and mingled with smoke from the fire, with the smells of leather and old paper. She paced the floor, fingers peeling deftly, eyes sweeping over the crowded bookshelves. It had been a while since she'd last come in there — getting around was still more difficult than she wanted to admit. The books, amounting in the hundreds, made her think of Isaiah. But so did most things. Sometimes, the ache of absence swelled and knotted itself into a shape just like him, and it stood in, and Iris would always rather have the sadness than an empty space. 

So this heartbreak she cared for like a newborn child.

Iris caught Erwin's eye and knew exactly what he would insist they discuss. She couldn't lie to herself — she was amused. So that was Captain Levi in the flesh, huh?  _ Certainly just as prickly as everyone says, _ she thought. She'd recognized him from the newspapers, of course, and you’d be hard-pressed not to see posters, drawings of him tacked here and there by the Corps' scattered fans. Mostly though, it had been by her own common sense — after all, who else could be so brazenly mean for no reason? She thought it strange they'd never crossed paths before, but then again she  _ had _ been MIA for two years, and there hadn’t been much reason for them to run in the same circles before. 

Plus, the captain seemed about the least sociable man to ever walk the earth. 

Iris dropped into the chair across from Erwin's desk where she supposed Levi must have been sitting just minutes before. She tore the last bit of peel from the orange's webby surface and twisted the fruit into halves. 

“Do you do this kinda thing anymore?” She offered one to Erwin. "Eat?"

Erwin stared at her outstretched hand. His hard mouth relaxed slightly. “Sometimes,” he took the orange, “when I remember I've got to.”

Iris slouched back in her seat, chin to her chest. She looked up at Erwin with a little purse of her lips. “You wanna know something?”

“Hm?” 

“Your friend?” she jerked her head behind her. “He's not very nice.” 

Erwin nodded thoughtfully. “No, not in the slightest. But he's your new boss.” 

At this, Iris couldn't help but laugh. “Oh, Mr. Ascot made sure I knew your recommendation would in  _ no _ way influence whether I get the job. He talked like people typically cheat for a chance to see Titans up close. It's such a funny way to think about it.” 

“He's unconventional. More than anything, I suppose he wants to make sure things are done fairly." Erwin sat forward, inclined his chin to her with mild intrigue in his face. "I've offered you promotions before, Iris —”

“Actually, you've been giving them all to Levi.”

“— as long as I've been able. You're a capable soldier, you've proven that, and I've always thought your leadership would be valuable to the Corps. But you've turned me down every time. So, I've got to ask . . . why now?”

Iris's grin faltered. She'd known the question would come, but that didn't make answering it any simpler. What was she supposed to tell him? That it was not nobility or courage that drove her, but inexpressible restlessness after two years of  _ nothing _ , and this was her way of scratching the itch? Was it better to admit the only part of dying that made her weary was where she'd end up? After all, she had someone she needed to see again. Should she remind Erwin of the day he'd approached her, just last week, and what it had marked? Iris never expected him to remember Isaiah the way she did, but still . . . she always tried to think of Marie. 

Then again, whatever grief Erwin harbored for Marie must have been entirely different from Iris’ own. Marie, after all, was alive and well and safe. She was probably living a very full life . . . just living it nowhere near him. Rumor had it she’d made sure Erwin knew it, too. Iris would never press him on it, but . . . she wondered what had gone down between them, and whether or not it was the cause for all his ceaseless stoicism. 

Iris sank her teeth into an orange wedge to stall for time, but Erwin was nothing if not patient. It's what made him a competent leader and an infuriating friend because Iris could never hide from him. He never made her talk, but he always knew when she ought to. He really did act like he had all the time in the universe to stare her down. 

Iris swallowed but still said nothing. 

“I understand,” Erwin went on, “if you’d rather not say.” 

“No, no,” She waved him off. He’d have his way eventually, might as well get it over with. “It’s not that. I, um . . . bedrest was difficult. I kept thinking that I shouldn’t have been . . . been there.” 

Erwin nodded once. “I’d imagine.” 

_ No, _ Iris wanted to say at once,  _ you couldn’t imagine. No one can. You have to have lived it.  _

But she didn’t. She tried to accept his sympathy since sympathy wasn’t exactly something Erwin Smith was known for, but Iris was reliably awful at such things. She sat forward and rested her elbows on her knees. 

“Having to be so stagnant was torture. Knowing that you were still running expeditions, that my old squad was still out risking life and limb . . .”

Memories rushed her. Days and days of laying in bed with nothing to feel but a coarse mattress on her skin, listening to her heartbeat tick like a clock. Days and days where she’d wished it would just stop.

Recovery was a kind of torture in itself. Initially, movement was out of the question — the physician kept telling her that, anyway. So Iris had waited. Weeks on end, laying in that borrowed bed, looking forward to nothing except the moment she could get back outside the walls. Whatever lesson the universe was trying to teach her, Iris had every intention of ignoring it. The second she was able, she would haul her ass right back into Titan territory because fear wasn’t an object anymore. She had already lost everything — nothing but time to mull it all over had taught her that much. There wasn’t any point in pretending she would balk at death if it came for her. No point in acting like she held her life in any great esteem. 

Joining Levi’s squad wasn’t the grand new chapter Erwin seemed to think it was. It was an epilogue. It was a way to get to the end. 

Involuntarily, Iris jerked her head against the thought. She felt her hand go to her breastbone, curl over her heart. No . . . she couldn’t start thinking like that. If every scout went suicidal after they lost someone, there wouldn’t  _ be  _ a Survey Corps. The world hadn’t stopped the moment she didn’t get what she wanted, and she couldn’t act like it had. 

Erwin’s eyes flicked from her fist to her face. “No one holds your injury against you. Mostly, we were all just relieved you pulled through.” 

“I appreciate it,” Iris murmured. She pinched the bridge of her nose. “You know I like being useful. I wonder if that makes me insane.” 

“Specify.” 

“Shouldn’t I have been glad to get away from the action? I mean, in a loose sense I was living like an MP. When I could walk again, I had  _ leisure _ . I even woke up past five, occasionally.” Iris sighed and dropped her gaze. “But it felt . . . very wrong. It’s not like I missed  _ Titans  _ or anything, I just . . . I just missed the routine, I guess. Maybe I’ve gotten too cocky.” 

“Maybe so. Best not to feel like you’ve escaped the thick of it.” Erwin’s heavy brow tilted as he thought. “Then again, if you’ve got a knack for survival, put it to use. Take care of the Special Ops. They’re young. Levi would never admit it, but he could use someone with experience under their belt to balance it out.”

“What, they’re too optimistic?” 

“Deathly optimistic. Nothing bad can ever happen to them, not while they’re members of the elite.”

Iris lifted her head and threw Erwin a reproachful look. “Is this your elaborate way of telling me I’m old and bitter?” 

At this, he actually smiled. “If  _ you’re _ old and bitter, then I’m hopeless and half-buried. It’s late, soldier. Take tomorrow to get yourself ready. I doubt Levi has any plans to go easy on you, and you haven’t been back on ODM for very long.” 

Iris nodded and got to her feet. She saluted him and said with her lips quirking, “I think I’m more worried about the interview, in all honesty.” 

Erwin touched a hand to his chin. “Then you’ve got a good gauge for what’s worth being afraid of.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't know what this is don't know the time or canonical reference point this is all vibes all vibes


End file.
